It's all fun and games until someone breaks up. You can't blame Facebook for all failed relationships, but the social network service does have a strong influence on the strength and health of today's young couples. Considering the popularity of Facebook and its interactive features that are oh-so-public, it's no wonder why it has taken over so many relationships. The solution is not to abstain from Facebook, but rather not let Facebook define your relationship.
Here's 10 ways Facebook ruins relationships:
- Increases Jealousy: Facebook breeds jealousy in more ways than one. From old flames writing on your bf or gf's wall, accepting friends of the opposite sex that you don't know or "liking" someone's status one too many times is enough to drive some partners crazy. Jealousy stems from your own insecurities about your relationship, but turning to Facebook is only going to make it worse when you see something you don't approve of
- Your Relationship Status: From "single," "in a relationship," to "it's complicated," Facebook is all about people's statuses. Some couples argue over the relationship status, or lack thereof, because it is a stepping stone in the relationship and it shows you're cool with publicly announcing your love. If one person is hesitant to be Facebook official and the other isn't, it may be enough to make or break the relationship.
- Photos from the Past (or Present): Photos are definitely the most popular feature of Facebook. If you're a habitual detagger or never post pictures, you may not have to worry about photos with exes. However, for the other millions of people who have no shame in their past may keep their photos up. Seeing a current bf or gf with their old love may not bother some and drive others up the wall. If you're a guy with lots of lady friends or vice versa and you like to take pictures with them, it may spark unnecessary jealousy from your partner.
- It's Addictive: You probably already know this, but Facebook is highly addictive. If you're a daily Facebooker who's also in a relationship, you may run into some problems every time you sign on. Couples can become addicted to spying on their partner's Facebook profile, especially when they spot something they don't like on there. This kind of addiction feeds petty jealousy that is not particularly healthy for a relationship.
- It Takes up Quality Time: Whether you spend most of your Facebook time looking back at old photos or writing on your college buddies' walls, it may be interfering with your relationship. We can all admit that Facebook is a huge time waster, which is fine to indulge in when you aren't with your significant other. When your idea of quality one-on-one time is perusing Facebook, there's going to be issues.
- Friends with Exes: Without fail, exes manage to become an issue on Facebook. Whether you are Facebook friends with your exes, communicate via wall post or message one another, jealousy and fights are sure to follow. It may be completely innocent and not hidden from your boyfriend or girlfriend, but that doesn't mean your significant other isn't going to have something to say about it.
- It's Too Easy to Snoop: It's not impossible to crack into your significant other's Facebook, or sneak a peek at their messages when they leave the room. Of course, if you're doing this with or without permission, you may have a bigger concern than just being nosy. Snooping on your significant other's Facebook to find dirt is a red flag in a relationship.
- Filtering your Friendship: Filtering your Facebook can be beneficial for many relationships- except one. Filtering your lover from seeing pictures of your past relationship or wall posts to exes is a recipe for disaster. Hiding things from your significant other is never a good idea, and Facebook is too public to ever really be private. There is a lot of room for error when filtering your girlfriend or boyfriend, such as forgetting to filter mutual friends or not logging out of your profile when your significant other is with you. If you get caught (and you almost always will), it can be hard to redeem yourself and get your gf or bf to trust you again.
- Showing No Online Love: PDA is no longer reserved for in person only. More than ever, Facebook has become the place to sweet talk your sweetheart for the whole world to see. Showing online affection is a big deal to some couples, but not everyone is a fan of the gushy love notes. This public display of affection is done for many reasons- for public attention, to appease your significant other or you just can't help but shout it from your computer chair. Showing online affection is usually never a problem until one of the partners doesn't respond, hides or deletes the comment or doesn't say "I love you" enough on Facebook.
- Increases Insecurities: Facebook can make even some of the most confident people insecure. Even couples experience insecurities when looking at Facebook. Seeing pictures of happily married couples or those who post love messages to one another may make you feel insecure or doubt the strength of your relationship. While these "happy" couples could be overcompensating for an extremely unhappy relationship, Facebook has a way of making healthy couples feel insecure.
Theresa C.
Wedding Officiant
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